Let The Peruvian Truth Be Told.

SMOKE BREAK WARNING!

Yo. Alright so I had a little confrontation with my Mom earlier. She thought it was Friday. We settled it after calling our Cousin then Aunt. It was becuase she just awoke from a nap, thinking it was morning. None the less...I made 100 dollars through a little bet with her it was Thurday.

Other then that juicy ordeal. I went to the store to pick up some essentials...Jelly for PB+J!! Then other essentials. Well a few after I got home Cousin called back. Cause she was in the middle of something before. Explained what was going on. Then...I was talking with her.

Cousin-"You start work yet?"
Me-"Yea, been working all week. It's a little hard at the moment but it's all good."
Cousin-"Ah, well you need to get a higher education."
Me-"Yea, I know. I plan on it once I get out of here. Settle down again."
Cousin-"You know? Shouldn't of ever left Portland! Your biggest mistake was coming back. Now you'll never get out."
Me-"Heh...I know...It's not like I could help the situation. I will get outta here...Just with every oppertunity something came up."
Cousin-"Yea, that's how it goes. Your stuck here now. You should of never left Portland..."
Me-"No...I'm going to leave. I had oppertunity's. People offered to let me stay with them. It's just I don't want to depend on them like that. I'd go and have no money. It's not cool that way. Atleast have something to offer for staying."
Cousin-"Yea, that's a good thing. You got a job now. Need to quit paying on your phone and save up."

SMOKE BREAK!?

Pretty much nothing else interesting...What pissed me off the most was two things of that conversation...First! You need a higher education! The funniest thing about that...She believe's she's high and mighty cause she's in college...Right? She's taking a course that makes you an office assistant...Yea? Well it's like a 2-3 year course...Following still? I hate to burst your fucken bubble bitch...But I just spent a year at a college based education facility. One year, to learn everything your learning! When you first started...Did I not tell you THE MICROSOFT WORD BOOK IS HUGE?! That it's simple minded bullshit!? You could of learned the shit online...? Oh, but I forgot...Cause you know how to fucken double space, and make a few pre-set tab commands. That your special enough to be on the honor role! "Hey look at me, I can type 55 wpm! Which makes me on the honor roll!" I'm one step further then your old ass...

Second...I left Portland. Becuase what's there? Tell me? What the fuck in the world is in Portland that has anything to do with me? My past lays at rest there, that's all! Nothing exist for Charlie Eric Luya there anymore. Memories of my past...The great pains and suffering. Oh yea, man I love that spot where I grew up with dispair. Oh look, there's the school where I killed my best friend! Hurry! Look this is where I was during a drive by! Grab the camera! Take a picture of me and this house! This is the house my Grandpa built for me. Then that lady married him while he was drugged up and took my future away, darn...Well look over here! This is where I went to kindergarten! I was subject to racism here! Oh man, oh man! This is my elementry school! Everyday, I was told I wasn't gonna become anyone. I was gonna fail and be a nobody! Hey, check it out. That's the house, that my Mom lost. On the next block is the other house where we got evicted and had moved to the coast...

SMOKE BREAK!?

That's the life I loved to wake up every morning to for the rest of my life. Memories that flowed continousily as I went around town...Not only that...I had nobody...Then how could I ignore my Mom...Our Cousin never helps her out enough. They live to far apart for immediate help. I can't forget the past, but I can't live the future knowing I created such a past. To where I ignored my Mom's health...? Our Cousin always thinks about her own needs before others...Just look at her children...Heh...

I'm gonna tell you peoples somethin...Some of my deepest darkest secretes...

SMOKE BREAK!?

So...I figured this thought for a long long time. Since I was very young. I finally found out the answer. Alright, so I've always noticed small things I do. Like the way i'll act and speak. I figured I had been mildly handi'...Always...Then I always noticed how my Mom had acted too. Her little actions and the way's she talks. So since I was young. I had figured I was handi'. Well recently, she had told me. She was considered mentally retarded. It made since...It doesn't bother me really. I just wanted the answer. None the matter, I'm who I am with some mild idioticyness that I'm lovable for.

SMOKE BREAK!?

Next...I forgot completly...Ok it's back! I finally came to realize...I'm nothing but a quitter! I haven't quit anything seriously latley. I was just remiscing back in the day things that I endured then quit. The thing is I feel as if I've quit Bass, Drawing, Tattooing, Cartooning, Writting, Jobs, some other small things. I think about it at work, cause it's not that it's hard. It's just
The whole standing...I'm a big man, so my legs gotta hold up a lot of weight. The feet endure serious stress and pressure. Then I get to thinking I should just quit. Then get to thinking I can't...Cause it'd get easier if I endure it. That sticking with this...will pave the future. Cause I believe...Motel 6, was the longest job I've had...about 5 month's?

I've decided to take on another part time job aswell. Well...then there's the thought of going back to college aswell...I've been discussing it forever...I'd really love to take some art classes. Somehow...I'm going to do that. I want to perfect them. Yea...I also want to follow up on studing more Buddism. I planned on calling Colleen today...I'll do it when I have a day off though. Then i'll ask what the book's name was she let me borrowed. It was really enlighting. Plus I'd like the wisdom of Richard...

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Well...Even with all that bull...I've pledged it before...I have numerous people to prove wrong...No matter what I have to do...I'll reach the top...Looking down upon them. With a simple apolology and smile. I'll let the past be the past as I wave good bye. I haven't done anything extroirdinary in my life...But I haven't commited anything regretfull either. The past's mistakes are my bookmarks. Refrencing them when needed. I'll offer my hand to the next person. For you never know the one person you fuck with, may be the same person who surpasses any expecations in life you had configured...

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